Back trouble and sleeping habit

As I briefly mentioned in my first post, I have just experienced some very scary back trouble. It started suddenly on Sunday night as I was getting up from the lounge. My legs felt like they couldn't carry me and my lower back was really hurting. I couldn't stand up straight, and I started shivering and shaking and my teeth were clattering even though I hadn't felt cold. I managed to get into my bed and turned on the electric blanket which helped. I got up again a bit later to turn off the lights - I could barely get myself there and back. I have never had anything like this happen before. When I went to the doctor on Monday, he immediately told me I was having the week off work which really surprised me - he is usually very careful with giving people sick leave. He also told me to lie flat on my back as much as possible, and do as little as possible out of bed. I was quite surprised as this seemed to be different from what I have heard about backache before. But, it has worked (together with the muscle relaxants/painkillers he gave me). My back is much better, and I can now walk ok. It is still uncomfortable to sit and standing is not so good either. I had another appointment with the doctor today with the results of the x-rays and CT scan that was done on Tuesday. Apparently the problems were caused by a slipped disk. One thing this has highlighted to me is how much I take my ability to use my body for granted. It was quite scary not to be able to walk properly. What if this happens again? Or worse still, what if it happens again but is even worse than this time?

In my last post I wrote that health is the first area I want to focus on, as I think it has such a major impact on every part of my life. I have realised that getting back to doing yoga regularly is something that will be important for the health of my back – but I need my back to get a bit better before I can start doing yoga again. Loosing some weight will also help my back. Last night I went for a tiny walk up to the top of the street, and today I went for a slightly longer walk. I might try some gently yoga stretches tonight.

I have had a very very unhealthy sleep pattern for a very long time, and I find it really hard to get into a good sleep routine. I often think that my body clock is made to go over more than 24 hours – either that, or I have completely wrecked it with years and years of often staying up until early hours of the morning working on what started with assignments, then work, then my masters thesis + work. I still do this on a regular basis with things that need to be finished for work.

I am realising more and more how important sleep is for our health. It is ok to occasionally have a late night, but to regularly only sleep 4-5 hours (or sometimes even less) a night is damaging. So my goal will be to be in bed with lights out by 11pm during week nights, and by midnight on Friday and Saturday night. I think this will be an important habit to get into to ensure I am not too tired to exercise and organise and prepare healthy food. So my plan is to be recording here how I am going with getting to bed at a proper time.

Where to start?

I am finding it hard to know where to start. There are so many things in my life I need and want to take hold of and do something about...

I have started reading a book called "How to get from where you Are to where you want to Be - the 25 principles of success" by Jack Canfield. He wrote the chicken soup for your soul books - I have never read any of those books. Despite the book talking a lot about huge financial success, big houses and great cars (none of which are on my 'wish list'), it has a lot of points I think will be helpful for me. I was going to mention something from the book here but now I can't find it - oh well, it will have to be for another time. So far I have just been reading through the book without putting any of it to practice - I am halfway through it, but I think I need to start it from the beginning again and write some notes for myself from each chapter and slowly start doing the suggestions.

I have a vision of having more time - time I can spend reviving and expanding my vegetable garden, cooking healthy and frugal meals from scratch, fixing clothes rather than just buying new, searching second hand shops for things I need, making gifts and so on - living a more self sufficient and sustainable lifestyle, and reducing my impact on our earth. I am not part of any religion - I have always believed that what is important is how we treat and look after other people, the earth and ourselves. But in my hurried life I am not doing any of those things well - I feel a bit like I have become one of the balls in a pinball machine arcade game, shuffled from place to place.

There are so many areas I want to make changes in, and I feel overwhelmed when I start thinking about them. To try to get an overview for myself, I have listed some here:

• My health. I have not prioritised my health at all, which has lead to me now being overweight and unfit, low in energy and with a sleeping pattern that is all over the place, usually resulting in too little sleep.


• My house. I have no routines for getting things done, which often results in housework being the last priority when I am out of energy. It feels like the chaotic and cluttered house steals even more of my energy. I also need and want to make my house my home.


• My garden. Or, as is the case on most of my block of land, especially the back yard - the lack of a garden.


• My finances. For the first few years after separating I had full control of my finances, I had a budget, recorded my spending, saved an emergency fund etc. This has completely slipped. My finances are not in a bad shape, but I am spending more than I should on things that are not important. So I need to refocus my goals in this area.


• My relationships with the people around me. Make time...


• My work. This is a tough one. And a scary one. But not one for immediate change.

I know there are many more. And in each category there are many things to take hold of. A lot of it is the need to build good habits and routines. I often find I start off well with new routines, but then after a little while they fade off while I start focusing on something else.

So as much as I would like to start on every category and change lots of things right away, I know that doing that will not work. So I will focus on one area and gradually start building up good habits. And I think the number one priority has to be my health, as this is something that impacts every area of my life.

Why blog?

For a while now I have felt a need for ‘finding me’ – rediscovering my likes and dislikes, what I want to do, what my goals are and so on. I want to start defining where I am going instead of just being thrown about by life and react to what is happening around me. Why have I come to this point now? I think there are a few reasons – one is that I am nearing 40 and wish to be on a better path both mentally and physically – I want to take steps towards a healthier me. The scary back trouble I have experienced in the last few days and being quite sick with a flu that did not want to go away a little while ago has increased this need to find a healthier me. Antother reason is that I have had a few years in chaos in many ways, and I feel like a need to ‘re-group’.

I am hoping that posting my thoughts, goals, plans, progress etc here will help me discover new things about myself as I am recording what goes on in my head. I hope it will help to sort my thoughts out and help stake out a direction for myself.